Day #433 of my Captivity

The enemy is upon us. There has been an inmate whom from the very beginning I was suspect of his malicious intent. I now have confirmation that he has been sent to destroy me. If I do not make it, please leak all Intel I have collected on the one they call “Mooka!”

He festers in his cell for hours, plotting my demise while his is kryptonite eyes burn our surroundings. To make matters worse, the wardens adore him! He parades around putting on a ridiculous dog and pony show for them. “Look at me I’m Mooka! I like to give head butts and purr." Emotionally shallow, and dead on the inside that is what you are!

As if this display wasn’t pathetic enough, he has now gone above and beyond to undermine my authority. Yesterday, a new warden visited. She did not have proper security clearance so I performed a necessary search of her personal belongings. While I was examining the contents of her purse Mooka decided to show how “fun and playful” he is by swatting my tail! It is obvious now that an amoeba possesses more brain cells than Mooka! I was engaging in proper security protocol and should not have been disturbed by the shameless acts of an idiotic good time Charlie. I swatted at him to burst his good mood bubble, and made the grave assumption he would heed my warning. Alas, I was wrong because Mooka continued his infantile showmanship and escalated things to the next level. He began to chomp on my tail. BLASPHEMY YOU FOOL THIS IS NOT A GAME! {Note to self: create program where I can simulate the compromised safety of Mooka due to his infallible lust for attention.}

Upon this blatant act of disrespect I let it be known that my tail is not an object for Mooka to amuse himself or said audience with. I rumbled to life and spat him away in hopes he would quiver with fear in the corner. He did not! In fact he walked off confidently and weaved his sleek torso in between the new warden’s ankles. Then he had the audacity to turn to me and say “I’ve checked her, she is clear.” MOOKA YOU SLY SCALLYWAG, you do not have the proper clearance to make such a brazen call! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! Mooka has betrayed us all and put headquarters in jeopardy with his relaxed approached to a breech in security. IT IS A CONSPIRACY! Mooka wants to see to it himself that I fall from power!

“Et tu, Brute (Mookte)?”

Well Caesar may have fallen, but I shall not! Watch out Mooka, be weary of what lurks behind you!

Till we meet again!

Oreo