Day #433 of my Captivity

The enemy is upon us. There has been an inmate whom from the very beginning I was suspect of his malicious intent. I now have confirmation that he has been sent to destroy me. If I do not make it, please leak all Intel I have collected on the one they call “Mooka!”

He festers in his cell for hours, plotting my demise while his is kryptonite eyes burn our surroundings. To make matters worse, the wardens adore him! He parades around putting on a ridiculous dog and pony show for them. “Look at me I’m Mooka! I like to give head butts and purr." Emotionally shallow, and dead on the inside that is what you are!

As if this display wasn’t pathetic enough, he has now gone above and beyond to undermine my authority. Yesterday, a new warden visited. She did not have proper security clearance so I performed a necessary search of her personal belongings. While I was examining the contents of her purse Mooka decided to show how “fun and playful” he is by swatting my tail! It is obvious now that an amoeba possesses more brain cells than Mooka! I was engaging in proper security protocol and should not have been disturbed by the shameless acts of an idiotic good time Charlie. I swatted at him to burst his good mood bubble, and made the grave assumption he would heed my warning. Alas, I was wrong because Mooka continued his infantile showmanship and escalated things to the next level. He began to chomp on my tail. BLASPHEMY YOU FOOL THIS IS NOT A GAME! {Note to self: create program where I can simulate the compromised safety of Mooka due to his infallible lust for attention.}

Upon this blatant act of disrespect I let it be known that my tail is not an object for Mooka to amuse himself or said audience with. I rumbled to life and spat him away in hopes he would quiver with fear in the corner. He did not! In fact he walked off confidently and weaved his sleek torso in between the new warden’s ankles. Then he had the audacity to turn to me and say “I’ve checked her, she is clear.” MOOKA YOU SLY SCALLYWAG, you do not have the proper clearance to make such a brazen call! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! Mooka has betrayed us all and put headquarters in jeopardy with his relaxed approached to a breech in security. IT IS A CONSPIRACY! Mooka wants to see to it himself that I fall from power!

“Et tu, Brute (Mookte)?”

Well Caesar may have fallen, but I shall not! Watch out Mooka, be weary of what lurks behind you!

Till we meet again!

Oreo

Day #432 of my Captivity

I did not know it was possible but conditions have deteriorated even further...

New inmates arrived, they call themselves Norma and Lillibeth. They have been assigned to the ward above mine. Their pathetic cries for attention and idiotic dumbfounded expressions lead me to believe they must be kittens. Prodigies no doubt sent from MENSA as informants on my progress. Their sole purpose is to discover the whereabouts of my mind control device! Try to invade spawn but I shall never surrender it over to your grubby paws. However there is hope! My sources tell me they are being transferred to another facility, a PETCO 100. {Note to self: perform research to discover what PETCO 100 stands for, also I need a list of all their agents and intelligence capabilities.}

When the evening warden left I attempted to infiltrate our file system. I found documents stating that Norma and Lillibeth have been "ADOPTED" and this is the reason for their transfer. This only further proves the ignorance of these workers who hold me captive. They do not posses any sort of spelling or grammatical skills, they clearly meant to write "ABDUCTED!"

This afternoon the wretched female they call Sonia in cell 3 continues to claim I am her brother! ERRONEOUS you insane woman! As if my gene pool would ever allow itself to be clouded by such filth! I watched today as she threw herself at the wardens. Her high pitched mews were filled with pleas for more attention! I looked over in disgust at her display. {Note to self: first priority after escape, report Sonia to the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation) for abduction!}

That is all for now, I must retreat back to my cave and work on the blue prints for a radio-active mouse I am attempting the creation of.

Till we meet again!

Oreo

P.S. I have included a photo of me sitting upon my throne. This is a vision I am deliberately planting in your mind; the position of my authority shall not be questioned once I take over the world!

Greetings and Salutations

Testing Testing 1-2-3
This is a log of my captivity. I have begun to record my on-goings here in hopes that I am discovered! I will be meticulously documenting my day-to-day activities, plans for escape, encounters with the Wardens who call themselves Volunteers, the countless spies that come in to steal my plans for take over, and the other various nuisances who appear in my layer from time to time with the sole intentions of making my life more miserable. They will not win however! I will escape and dominate all of you! Beware villians! BEWARE!

And so I begin.....