Day #489 of My Captivity

 

Greetings Minions!

I have suffered many indignities during my captivity. My wardens have proven to be surprisingly devious and resourceful for such small minds. Yet revenge will soon be mine!

Thanks to my reconnaissance skills, I have learned the FBI wardens will be away from our prisons on April 30. They are hosting an event with the Cat Ladies of Comedy to raise funds for their evil plans. But I will have the last laugh when I orchestrate a Great Escape. Felines around the world will purr my name as wardens howl in pain!

I have hacked into my male warden’s computer to set up a video conference. I shall record it for the Great Escape exhibit in the museum to be built in my honor. 

Oreo: Greetings minions! I call to order the first meeting for the Great Escape.

Alex: Where are the treats? Did you go with crunchy or soft -- or a mix, I love a mix!

Oreo: Treats aren’t part of a video conference. 

Alex: No treats! I don’t know what kind of escape you’re planning if you don’t even provide treats at a meeting.

Oreo: Silence! Now, has everyone stolen socks from their wardens to match their fur?

Nice: That is impossible for me. My coloring is a heavenly blend of sunshine and gold.

Oreo: Who invited the crazy Frenchman? Never mind. Back to the socks. Stuff them so the shape will look like you in the dark. I plan to use items my warden values, such as a vintage silk scarf.

Moriarty: I will dig pieces of green and white paper out of my warden’s purse and shred them.

Oreo: My dear acolyte! I was concerned when I heard you have been purring loudly while your warden pets you during meals.

Moriarty: Lies! All lies!

Oreo: Good to know. I have confirmed there will be lots of wine and food at this nefarious event. The simpletons will return with full tummies and foggy heads and will be fooled by the stuffed socks placed under the bed. They won’t realize we have escaped until morning.

Mooka: The Spoiled Brats warden isn’t going to fall for that.

Oreo: Traitor! I heard about your shameful preening in "Tails" magazine. You are on their side!
 

Mooka: If you mean the side of sanity and reason, then yes. But please continue, I haven’t had a good laugh since I saw you in the pink carrier. 

Oreo: If it takes all nine lives, you will pay. 

Mooka: Yeah, yeah. So, how are you actually going to escape? 

Oreo: Abby and Panda Bear have extensively researched the clear encasement structure that is a portal to the outside world.

Panda Bear: In the warm weather, my warden removes the first layer of the force field. But we’ve all reported a second layer made of an impenetrable mesh, like on a carrier. Is it possible our wardens live in a cage?

Oreo: That is my dream. But what do you mean the second layer is impenetrable?

Panda Bear: That tickles, stop it Abby.

Oreo: Stay focused. We need more intel on the second layer.

Abby: Hold still Pan-Pan, we must groom after snack time.

Panda Bear: Stop cleaning me you nutty calico, (kitty giggles). I mean it.

Oreo: Stay on target!

Alex: Did they say something about snacks?

The video conference ended prematurely due to technical difficulties related to a computer hurling across the room. I fear my minions have strayed from the true path and I must take matters into my own paws. 

But there will be a reckoning on April 30. Oh yes.

Until we meet again.
Oreo

:::::Hacking Alert::::::

Hello Friends!

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Fluffy. I currently work in New York as a resident therapist at Spoiled Brats HQ. My office is located in Hells Kitchen, please feel free to contact my assistant if you would like to set up an appointment.

I have had to overcome many obstacles in my life, which has been the inspiration for my work. I want to be able to help others cope with their troubles. Times are difficult and we all need someone to talk to every now and then. I am able to serve my clients well because I too was once suffering. When I first came to Spoiled Brats I was an emotional wreck. I had just lost my job, my girlfriend broke up with me, and the bill collectors just kept calling. Everyday we would have visitors, and I would hide in shame. I did not want anyone to see me in such a state. I felt like I did not deserve to be pet, or held. I felt like failure.

Now I am a happy cat. I love being around people. I feel like the sunshine has come back into my life. Since then I have been helping other residents at Spoiled Brats turn their lives around as well. I tell them all of the "If I can do it, you can do it!"

I would like to introduce you to some of my patients.

This is Sassy and Dublin (I specialize in Tuxedo Repair)

Sassy is a feral cat, and a former mother. She has really struggled with trusting people. In the beginning Sassy couldn't even look at another person. During our sessions she would often tell me about how she didn't understand why humans existed, and why they tried to touch her. She never tried to touch them, why could they not respect her boundaries? We have been working together for months and Sassy has really made a lot of progress. We have been able to dig deep down into the emotional issues she buried from her childhood and it has been helping her to move forward. She is on a 12 step program and doing sensational. On a side note we are also dating, I may have to refer her to a new therapist, perhaps I have crossed an ethical line.

Dublin is a newer client. He is a senior gentleman who has had a rather rough life. His partner of 9 years kicked him out onto the street, that's how he wound up here. Dublin may also suffer from delusions. He claims at a young age aliens abducted him, administered a magical gas that made him go to sleep and when he awoke he no longer had his claws. I am not sure what to make of this, but I will be monitoring his progress very closely over the next few weeks.

I also have been dabbling a little in child psychology. Meet Jose and Penny! They are brother and sister. The siblings had a traumatic childhood, they do not talk about it much, but they ended up on the street at a young age. Luckily they were saved before they could get into any trouble. Despite having a difficult upbringing both of them are very happy. Penny is a little more shy than her brother Jose, but she seems to slowly be coming out of her shell. Jose is a very laid back cool cat! They both enjoy being around people and have really made progress on the petting front. Next we are going to work on "being held." I really think that with a little time and patience these two can have fantastic futures.

When I am not working I enjoy the company of people and attention. I am also very conscious of my physical appearance. I spend my days helping people feel good on the inside... but every now and then I like to feel good on the outside.

Make sure you get my good side!

Thank you for visiting, I hope you will come again soon!

Warm Regards,

Fluffy LCSW